


We'll Do It All, Everything

by lesbianettes



Category: 9-1-1 (TV)
Genre: AU, Anal Sex, Fluff and Smut, Frottage, Intimacy, It's about the being tender, Kissing, M/M, Making Out, Mostly a study on sex/intimacy while trans, Oral Sex, Smut, Strap-Ons, Top!Chimney, bottom!Eddie, model!chimney, non-established relationship, photographer!eddie, photography as a means of love, trans!chimney
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-28
Updated: 2020-07-26
Packaged: 2021-03-03 18:53:26
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 13,195
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24920356
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lesbianettes/pseuds/lesbianettes
Summary: Sometimes it's hard to be loved. With Eddie, it's easy.
Relationships: Howie "Chimney" Han/Eddie Diaz
Comments: 11
Kudos: 23





	1. Let's Waste Time

**Author's Note:**

> fic and chapter titles from "Chasing Cars" by Snow Patrol

Eddie Diaz’s studio is on the fourteenth floor of an office building Downtown, right on the edge of the Arts District. From the outside, it’s completely nondescript. There’s no indication, besides the little plaque in the lobby naming him the sole occupant of the floor, that one of the most prolific photographers in LA does his best work here. Chimney feels weird even going into the professional looking building, especially given the way he’s dressed in a tee shirt and jeans. But if anyone stares, that’s their problem. He was invited. Eddie wants to photograph him.

It’s not the first time he’s been asked to do an individual shoot, for a portfolio or otherwise, but he’s learned to be careful with private shoots. He can take care of himself. Always has. However, that doesn’t undo the things he’s gone through by untoward photographers too fascinated by him. It’s a compliment, they said. They were helping his career, they said. He should calm down, they said. Just thinking about it sends a shiver down his back, and he’s glad he told Hen the address and when the shoot is supposed to end. Should something happen, she’d know. He’s going to be alright, even if Eddie turns out to be a creep.

He doesn’t think he will, though. They met on the packing underwear shoot, for starters, and there were no red flags there. It’s probably just another job for Eddie. They had undeniable chemistry on that shoot, and Eddie’s looking to add to his portfolio with someone who knows how to work with his style of photography. There’s nothing to be nervous about, no matter what his shaking hands seem to think. The building is crowded, too, so if Eddie tries to murder him or something, someone will notice. As it is, there’s a handful of businessmen crowded around him on their way up to their own little spaces. They give his attire disdainful looks until he presses the button for Eddie’s floor. Then they relax. Eddie must do a lot of private shoots here. 

The way the building is set up, there’s a reception with several “offices” to choose from when he gets there, but no one to direct him. He’s about to text Eddie he’s here when one of the doors swings open, revealing the photographer himself, already with a camera slung around his neck. He looks different than at the shoot they met on; his hair is messy as opposed to gelled back, his clothes more comfortable than stylish, and his smile much brighter. This isn’t a job for him, it’s a pastime. 

“Glad you came.”

Eddie steps to the side to let Chimney into the clean studio space. The floors are a caramel hardwood, warm and peaceful with the cream colored walls and large windows. Everything is up against the walls, leaving the majority of the floor space open, but Eddie quickly begins to change that. The love seat and a little table with a vase of roses on it stay put, but he starts pulling lights and reflectors closer to the middle, aiming them at a charcoal backdrop hung on the far wall. It’s homey, for a photography studio. 

“The roses are for you to choose from, as props,” he says. He’s playing with the settings of his camera rather than looking at Chimney. “Other than that, it’s up to you. Do what feels natural, and if you need to adjust something, I’ll let you know.”

As a final thought, he drags the chair into the middle of the set, and then gives Chimney a minute to peruse the flowers. They’re all different colors, more than he knew roses came in, and in different stages of bloom. From rose buds to those on the verge of dying. Maybe it’s cliche, but he chooses a mid-bloom in red, noting the way the thorns have all been carefully clipped off to protect his hands. In past shoots involving roses, he’d had to ask- and usually got told no. It’s a small thing, but it feels like love.

He perches on the edge of the stool, only starting to get comfortable when Eddie raises up the camera. None of the lights are on yet. Only the angled afternoon sun illuminates him, bringing a little too much warmth with it. It’s a good sort of warmth, even if it makes him sweat a bit as Eddie pursues different angles of the same easy pose Chimney holds. Hands folded, rose in his lap, watching the skyline. Then it’s easy to fall into a rhythm with Eddie, more so than any other shoot. Lifting the rose to his lips, turning his body this way or that. There was a time where he would be too shaky to hold a pose for long, but it’s easy when Eddie is smiling like that on the other side of the camera, murmuring praises of the image.

The lighting is perfect. That pose is stunning. Beautiful, Chimney.

That last one rings in his ears as Eddie offers him a white rose to replace the red for the next round of photos. He runs his fingers over the soft petals as he realizes the light in the room is beginning to turn more yellow than white. It’s not the ugly indoor lamp sort of color, but the soft golden wash of sunset. Golden hour, he’s heard it called. No one’s photographed him during it, before. In fact, he doesn’t think he’s really been photographed in natural light since the days he modeled on college campuses for spare cash. 

The dying light seems to drive Eddie to take as many photos as possible, the shutter going and going in a never-ending pattern of clicks. Soon, it’ll be too dark. When that moment comes, Eddie lowers his camera with a frustrated sound, turning on the lights aimed at Chimney. It’s at that moment his phone starts buzzing on the table by the roses. It’s been at least five hours since he got here, but it feels like nothing.

“That’s my manager,” he says. “I’ve been a while, so she’s checking in to make sure I’m okay.”

Eddie nods and plays with the Kelvin of the lights while Chimney goes to get his phone, completely unbothered. Even good photographers usually hate the interruption. It’s nice that Eddie respects this, unexpected in a good way. He almost doesn’t want to break their moment by speaking to Hen, but she’s only doing what he asked of her before he got here in the first place. 

In lieu of a greeting, he tells her he’s okay as soon as he picks up the phone. 

“No need for me to come check in? No creepy weird album of you naked?”

He laughs. “No, Hen, we’re all good. I think I’ll probably be here a bit longer, I’ll call you when I’m headed home.”

“Stay safe, Chim.”

After he hangs up and returns to the stool, Eddie looks to have changed out the lens on his camera for something a lot longer. There’s a joke there, somewhere, but Chimney just poses where they left off and waits for Eddie to begin taking pictures again. Eddie gently coaxes him to hold the rose to his mouth again, and with the large lens strangely close, snaps a handful of pictures that seem to include little more than Chimney’s hands, the flower petals, and a hint of his lips. Eddie takes several of those before the pose changes, and Eddie keeps up with the close shots and the long lens as city lights wink on behind him, light pollution drowning out any hint of stars that might dare to come through.

Eddie keeps calling him beautiful, keeps photographing him well past when Chimney meant to leave. There must be a thousand photographs on his memory card by the time he sets his camera aside and stretches his sore muscles.

“Sorry, sometimes I get in the zone. Do you like Italian?”

“What?”

“Italian,” Eddie repeats. He has his phone out. “There’s a really good place down the block that delivers.”

Chimney’s heart skips a beat. It doesn’t mean anything. He nods, though, and watches Eddie start to tidy up the studio with ease. The memory card is placed into a little plastic case with countless others, each marked with a number in silver sharpie in the corner to keep track. He turns off all the lights and closes the reflectors. In minutes, the studio is clean again, and they wind up on the loveseat together waiting for dinner. 

“You’re a natural,” Eddie tells him.

“You’re one to talk.”

He ducks his head and grins, a soft flush rising on his cheeks. Eddie’s features look much softer up close, not so much the hard lines that his focused expressions seemed to imply; now he seems impossibly sweet, and it’s difficult to avoid leaning in close to kiss him. Chimney actually thinks he might, but then there’s the clear sound of the elevator doors opening in an obnoxious ding. That must be how Eddie knew he’d arrived.

While Eddie gets their food, Chimney forces himself to take a deep breath. He won’t make this into more than it is. He stretches his legs out in front of him, working out the stiffness of holding poses for too long, listening to Eddie open and shut another door before he comes back. He’s holding a bag in one arm, heavy enough to pull little lines into the skin, a laptop balanced in the other with practiced ease. 

“Wanna see some of what I took?”

“I’d love to.”

He unpacks their food while Eddie inserts the SD card into the side of his mac. There’s a large thing of pasta, coated in a red sauce littered with fresh green basil and creamy melted mozzarella, a little cardboard box of garlic knots, and two large water bottles that have only begun to turn foggy with condensation. The water is thoughtful in a way that makes Chimney want to cry. He takes a few sips before opening the little plastic wrapping around his fork, handing Eddie one as well.

Slowly, the computer begins to load thumbnails of the pictures. As they wait, they start to eat in companionable silence. The food’s good. The company is better. Their knees are pressed together, watching the gentle light of the computer as it works through what it eventually lists as 1,247 images. All of Chimney. Most photographers take a lot of pictures, but this feels like a lot. Eddie seems unphased, however, and finds the ones taken in the golden sunset glow.

“I can already tell these are my favorites.”

He clicks one of the thumbnails, bringing the image to fill the full screen. It’s Chimney, of course, but it doesn’t look like himself. It’s another version of him. He’s been a model professionally for quite some time now, but this photo looks like something that goes on billboards for hotels and the covers of books. He can imagine how the warm orange-yellows will stand out against the cool colors of most of Eddie’s portfolios. He’ll be special. Eddie flicks through photo after photo with the touch pad, all these angles that seem to turn Chimney’s visage into something magical. They’re followed by the closeup shots with the long lens. 

“These look good,” Eddie tells him between bites of the pasta, tracing the vein of Chimney’s hand in the image. “You have nice hands.”

“Having a good photographer helps.”

There’s that blush again, one Chimney could drool over. Instead, he drinks some more water and dares to lean closer, their arms brushing up against each other. It’s closer than platonic. Eddie just presses his arm in a bit more. They look through what Eddie has already deemed the highlights until they’ve had their fill of food, and Eddie offers Chimney an icebreaker mint for the garlic. 

“I see how it is,” he teases, popping the candy in his mouth.

“I- I didn’t mean to presume, I-”

Chimney takes Eddie’s face in his hands, turning it so they’re looking into each other’s eyes. “Hey, I’m joking. If you want to do this, Eddie…”

“I want to kiss you.”

It winds up being Chimney who kisses him first, still cupping Eddie’s face and smoothing his thumbs over his cheeks. His skin, slightly rough from stubble, goes warmer under the touch, just like Eddie’s soft lips and the careful hands that grab onto his waist. Kissing isn’t new to Chimney by any means- he’s not young anymore- but it’s new with Eddie, who is both tender and needy at the same time when he slips one hand beneath the hem of his tee shirt. 

The photos are quickly forgotten, Eddie’s computer pushed aside to make room for Chimney to lay back on the floor with Eddie’s warm weight on top of him. He gets his other hand up under Chimney’s shirt, both now skimming his sides as if to memorize his body. His light touch nearly tickles, and he huffs a laugh into the kiss as he lets go of Eddie’s face to do the same. Eddie’s chest is built beneath his clothes, carefully toned, the muscles jumping under such a soft touch in a way that says he doesn’t do this often.

When they pull back to breathe for a moment, Eddie smiles at him with such soft eyes. “You’re so beautiful.” He kisses him again before Chimney can even process the words, let alone respond to them.

Here, with the curtains open and the lights down low, on the floor of Eddie’s studio, they kiss until their lips are swollen and Chimney’s half dizzy with the way Eddie kisses- with his whole body, not just his lips. The kiss is his hands on Chimney’s chest, a little tentative and a lot adoring. The kiss is his firm body pressed up against Chimney’s, almost pinning him to the cool floor. The kiss is the little gasp for breath when their kiss breaks in favor of leaving marks down the side of Eddie’s neck. Chimney can’t really walk out of here with hickeys, given his job, but Eddie can. And it’s satisfying, almost, to make those light little spots that he knows will stick around for a few days. 

By the time they finally pull away for good, taking their fill of now lukewarm water, it’s closer to sunrise than it is to last night’s set. And Chimney feels wanted beyond a weird fascination with his body. It’s nice to be wanted like this. 


	2. If I Lay Here

Only a couple days after the shoot, Eddie sends Chimney a message inviting him to another one at the studio, this time with another model. He’s doing a study on touch, he said, and sent Chimney a link to the other model’s profile to make sure that they’re a good fit. It’s hard not to be disappointed, given how their last shoot turned out, but maybe this is Eddie’s way of saying that it was a mistake, one he wouldn’t like to repeat. He got one evening to be beautiful, to be loved, and just because it’s over doesn’t mean he can’t think of it fondly and hold it close to his heart for a long time going forward.

He hasn’t worked with the other model before, but she seems sweet and bubbly. Her name is Karen, she has pretty twists in her hair, and her smile has the kind big-sister look that makes him want to get to know her. Although he doesn’t run into her in the lobby, he expects she’ll be here any minute, if she’s not in there already. They probably won’t even get a chance to talk about the night before, and if they do, Chimney knows what he’ll hear. Caught up in the heat of the moment, not the right fit, too different. Not good enough. It won’t be the first rejection, nor will it be the last.

This time when he arrives on the right floor, the door to the photo area is already open and he can hear two voices. One is of course Eddie, asking someone to turn their head ‘just a bit to the left,’ followed by a woman’s voice asking if it’s correct. It must be Karen. Eddie had the studio door shut when it was just them, so it must be open to make sure he wouldn’t have to stop to get it when Chimney arrived. The lack of a personal greeting stings no matter how hard Chimney pushes it down. 

He clears his throat to announce his presence. Eddie’s face lights up with a beautiful smile, and for the first time in his life, Chimney thinks he truly gets what “breathtaking” means- he honestly can’t get any air into his lungs because his whole body is just focused on Eddie. He’s too far gone for a single makeout session after a photoshoot. Maybe it’s been a little too long since he had a connection like this, or just since someone looked at him the way it feels Eddie is. 

“Hey, Chimney, this is Karen Wilson. Karen Wilson, Chimney Han.” 

“Oh, Wilson. You happen to know Hen?”

Karen laughs. “Been married to her for ten years.”

Come to think of it, Hen’s mentioned her wife a few times, but never that she was also a model. Maybe they met in the industry. Wouldn’t that be an extra piece of hope Chimney doesn’t need? He tries not to acknowledge it, instead noting the way that his and Karen’s outfits contradict each other, at Eddie’s careful instruction on what to wear. Her dress is stark white, summery in its cut and flattering. He wonders if Eddie was specific or general. For him, it had been strict; he’s wearing a form-fitting black shirt, and black jeans that feel painted on. He looks fantastic, he’ll admit, but it’s not something he would choose for himself. Beside Karen, the contrast is beautiful even to him. It’ll make for some good photos, especially given Eddie’s natural talent. 

Once again, the studio lights are off, leaving them to bask in the natural light coming through the window. It’s mid-morning, which, combined with the North-facing window, means the light will be good and relatively unchanged for a long time. The shoot starts off with directed poses, and this is the part of modeling that brings in acting. It isn’t that there’s anything wrong with Karen- she’s beautiful, sweet, and a natural in the same way Eddie is. Chimney’s just not personally attracted to her. This shoot, though, it’s about moments of closeness, and so Chimney closes his eyes and imagines.

He imagines holding Eddie’s stubbled cheeks. Imagines standing with him, hip to hip, chest to chest, until there’s no space left between them. Imagines kissing him again, feeling the curve of his smile. Imagines laying on that loveseat with him and being held.

When he opens his eyes, he’s looking at Karen, and he can tell from Eddie’s sharp inhale of breath that it looks good. The camera shutter goes off a handful of times before Karen snorts and moves her hands from laced behind his neck to his waist. She wiggles her eyebrows and it makes him laugh too. 

“Nothing better for a love photoshoot than a lesbian and a gay man,” he jokes. 

“I’ve done this before,” she says. “It helps if you think of someone else. I think of my wife.”

Chimney glances toward the camera- toward Eddie- and she gives him a knowing smile but doesn’t say a word. They hold their current pose for a few minutes, letting Eddie dance around them and take pictures, before he tells them to change it up to whatever feels natural. He draws once again on what he’d do if the situation were reversed. If it was Eddie right in front of him and he wanted to show not just him, but the whole world what it feels like to be with him.

“I’m gonna hug you,” he warns.

“I thought we were already doing that.”

But she nods, and so he wraps his arms around her tightly and tucks his face in against her shoulder. Without shoes, he’d probably be a little taller than her, but her kitten heels put them on even enough footing. He looks toward the window, Eddie’s silhouette against it, and shuts his eyes. Karen holds him tightly in return, cupping the back of his head.

“Perfect,” Eddie murmurs.

They go through a couple dozen poses, trying not to laugh between them, before Eddie calls it a day and removes the card from his camera. It’s barely been a couple hours, much shorter than last night. As strange as the shoot felt, it was fun, and Karen’s joking with him about Hen’s thing with photographer safety. She knows what creeps can be like, and sometimes she can be a bit much about making sure her models are safe- especially the love of her life. 

“See you around, hopefully,” Karen says, handing him her business card. “Call if you ever need me for another shoot, Chim. You’re really talented.”

“Yeah, uh, you too.”

He puts the little piece of cardstock in his wallet and picks up his phone, preparing to text Hen about how he’s somehow never met her wife, when Eddie says his name. Chimney turns and sees the look on his face. He knows. This is the part where Eddie says he didn’t mean for them to get carried away last night, that he’s not into guys. Or he’ll say he’s not into guys  _ like you _ , trying not to admit the truth. They met on the packer shoot, and he’s seen Chimney’s scars- he knows. Chimney braces himself for the let-down, only for Eddie to grab his laptop and gesture for him to come to the couch. 

“I don’t edit them on this, obviously, but I ported them from my home computer. I wanted to show you some of the final photos.”

“Oh. Yeah, sure, I’d love to see them.”

He joins Eddie on the little couch, their bodies pressed together from shoulder to ankle, and looks at the screen as Eddie sifts through a couple folders before finding the right one. It’s labeled by date, Chimney’s name, and subject matter, that being the rose he posed with. There’s only a handful of images, carefully curated from the hundreds Eddie took. It must have taken forever to sift through and edit. It’s about the craft, he thinks, not about him. 

The first one Eddie pulls up to show him is something he barely recognizes. It’s from the beginning of the shoot, with the red rose. Everything has been turned to a crisp, clean greyscale except for the rose. It’s almost too beautiful to be himself, but he knows it is. And of the edits made, he can tell, none of them were what people love to do to photos. His smile lines, the texture of his skin, have both been left alone. He’s not made of plastic in this photo, but a real person who looks so full of life. 

“This is incredible, Eddie.”

Eddie shoots him a little half-grin. “I had a good model.”

Chimney doesn’t know what to say to that, so he remains silent. The next picture is one of the shots of his hands, which Eddie stares at quietly for a moment before moving on. Another macro shot follows that one, framed perfectly to show the way rose petals and fingertips brush Chimney’s lips. For the first time, he sees himself in a photo, and he’s desirable. He’s- he’s  _ sexy _ , in a word, and it’s because Eddie made him that way. 

Maybe it’s a mistake, but Chimney turns his head away from the computer and kisses Eddie. He holds his face, just as he wanted to earlier, and prays that it’s welcome. There’s a small thud as Eddie shifts beneath him- the computer being set on the floor, probably- before Eddie pulls him closer by the waist and kisses him harder. He’s warm, perfect, the right mix of careful and wanting, keeps trying to pull Chimney in tighter against him. Still, it seems they’re not close enough. In an effort to close the space, Chimney swings one leg over Eddie’s lap and gets comfortable like that.

And oh, what a difference that makes. Eddie breaks away from his lips to kiss his neck, careful not to be too rough and leave a mark, but determined to make Chimney feel it. He actually shivers when Eddie nips at his jaw and follows it up with a quick swipe of his tongue.

“Shit,” he hisses.

Eddie hums against his neck and his hips twitch upward. It’s like that, it seems. Chimney’s not complaining. He threads his hand through Eddie’s soft hair, holding him in place as he mimics the motion with a little more finesse. That seems to be it. The hands on his waist go down to grab his ass. Although maybe grab isn’t the right word, because that implies something rough, and Eddie is anything but. He’s thoughtful. He’s so clearly trying to make Chimney comfortable, make him feel good, and that alone makes all the difference as he matches the rhythm of his movement to Eddie’s. His is a little cleaner. That’s the nature of not actively getting off on it. Even if he doesn’t finish here, which he probably won’t, this is fodder to get him through every long night for the rest of his life. 

It’s not hard to drown out the rest of the world, even with the sun drifting in on them and the sounds of the city leaking through the walls. In here, it’s just the two of them. Eddie grinding up slow against his ass, now starting to moan and losing track of his kisses. He sounds beautiful. When Chimney looks at his face, flushed and lashes fluttering, he knows it to be true. Eddie is the most gorgeous thing he’s ever seen, and he’s getting more sloppy in his movements but that’s perfect too.

“Chimney,” he breathes. He’s shaking a little now with how close he is. “If we don’t stop, I’m gonna come.”

There’s no turning back. “Do it, then.”

Eddie makes a sound like all the air has left his lungs. Chimney gets the feeling. He clings to him a little more, digs his fingers into Chimney’s ass hard enough that there will probably be little red-purple marks for a day or so, and hides his face as he comes. Chimney strokes his hair and holds him, lets Eddie ride out the aftershocks against him until he’s left panting for breath. 

Then he looks up again, eyes a little hazy, and licks his lips. “I want to make you feel good too.”

“You don’t have to.”

“I want to,” Eddie says. “I just might need a little guidance. I want you to feel safe with me.”

That burns. It burns like rinsing out a scrape, but it’s a good burn that cleans everything out and leaves behind nothing but light, and Chimney has to blink back the tears. He’s had good partners, bad partners, like anyone else. But Eddie’s so genuinely sweet, caring, wants to make him feel good out of a genuine desire rather than some skewed sense of obligation. 

“Okay. Yeah, let me just-”

He unbuttons his jeans and reaches into his boxers, pulling out his packer. Eddie looks at it with furrowed brows for a moment, then back to Chimney’s face. “What is that?”

“It’s my dick, Eddie.”

“Oh.”

Chimney leans to the side, just barely able to reach the desk enough to set his packer on it for safekeeping. That done, he focuses back on Eddie, who hasn’t moved his hands, but whose eyes have locked onto the dark trail of hair leading into Chimney’s boxers. Chimney takes one of his hands by the wrist and guides it, placing it flat against his stomach before leading him down into his jeans. 

“Over the boxers,” he instructs. Eddie nods and follows his lead, allowing Chimney to position his fingers just so and push them in a little circular movement. “Yeah, just like that. It’ll probably take me a little while, so I understand if you don’t want to.”

“I’m here as long as you’ll have me.”

It takes more strength than Chimney expected to hold back the tears.

He spreads his legs a little further and pulls his hand out of his pants to leave it to Eddie. It’s a little clumsy and unsure, but he’s quickly gaining confidence and he seems so eager, so happy to give back. Fuck, Chimney wants to cry. Instead, he wraps his arms around Eddie’s neck and kisses him.

Eddie seems to read him like a book. He feels Chimney push more against his fingers, so he applies more pressure. Moves faster when Chimney’s legs start to shake. He doesn’t seem to mind if his hand cramps up from the angle, or that they’re not even really touching- he just keeps kissing Chimney as though his life depends on it and working hard to get him off. 

“A little higher. And- and faster too, please-”

Right away, Eddie listens, smiles against his mouth when it makes him moan. It’s good. This is good, and Chimney can barely believe that this is happening right now. He’s the one losing control now, grinding against Eddie’s hand, but it’s good. He feels loved with him, if he can use the word for his second ever encounter with someone so fundamentally good. 

He nips at Eddie’s bottom lip, proud of the way Eddie’s movements falter for a split second. It’s nice to feel like he can give as good as he gets. It’s nice to get, period. Chimney shuts his eyes and just focuses on the sensation. It’s really good, it’s just this side of not enough, though, and he doesn’t know exactly how to get it right himself half the time- it takes a few minutes to find that perfect angle and go over the edge, he can’t expect Eddie to know. 

“I need you to, just a little more-”

Eddie must hear something in his voice, see something on his face, that has him adjusting the slide of his fingers just a little. A little more. A little more, until it’s just right and Chimney feels his muscles all lock up. Eddie kisses his slack lips again, keeps doing it like that, perfect, until it washes over him like a wave and he’s just holding onto Eddie for dear life. It lasts a long time, Eddie gently working him through it until it becomes too much and he jerks back from oversensitivity.

“Okay, okay, I’m good, fuck, Eddie.”

Looking somewhere along the lines of smug, Eddie pulls his hand from Chimney’s pants and kisses him again. And again. Kisses him breathless on the love seat that has earned its name, and smiles at him until Chimney is dizzy with it. 


	3. Just Forget the World

Texting Eddie becomes the norm. Between shoots and household chores, meetings with Hen and contract negotiations, Chimney’s always looking forward to the next message from him. It’s hard not to, when Eddie plies him with little emojis and cute blurry selfies like his photographic talent does not extend to the forward facing cameras. Perhaps it doesn’t. Whatever the answer, it’s unfairly endearing. And now that they’ve done more than just kiss on the floor, Chimney can’t help hoping a bit. Maybe there could be something here. He allows himself a moment to dream of candlelit dinners and early sunlight breakfasts. 

It’s been a couple weeks since the shoot with Karen, who Chimney has also exchanged a handful of texts with, mostly work related. They’re both booked on a fashion mag in a couple months, and have been sending potential costumes back and forth. He’s looking at her most recent example of some fuzzy sweater trend when a call comes through from Eddie. Eddie never calls. 

“Hey,” he answers. It fills the empty space of his apartment. “What’s up?”

“My model cancelled on me. Are you busy?”

Chimney was the first person he thought of when he needed help. Oh, that makes him feel warm from his lips to his feet for reasons he can’t explain. “No, I’m good. I’ll be right there, what’s the shoot?”

“It’s uh, it’s Levi. The jeans. I have a jacket that’ll probably fit you, it was intended for the other model. Do you own Levis? If not, I’ll PayPal you to buy a pair, have them reimburse me.”

“I think I have a pair. I’ll see you in a few.”

Eddie thanks him in a clearly relieved voice before they hang up, leaving Chimney to go root through his clothes for jeans. Not just any jeans. Levis. He doesn’t really wear those, because they don’t fit his body all that well, but he remembers getting a pair tailored for a shoot he was in a couple years ago. They should still fit, he thinks. It takes a minute to find them, a couple to wiggle into them. He’s bulked up in the time since then, making it cling to his legs in a way it didn’t before. His thighs in particular. But when he looks in the mirror, it’s a good sort of tight that shows off his muscles. Okay. Maybe this isn’t too bad. He throws on a plain white tee shirt too, not wanting to clash with Eddie’s setup, whatever it may be. Just to be sure, he takes a photo in the floor length mirror and sends it off, accompanied by a question mark. 

The response he gets is an enthusiastic exclamation point, which he figures must be a good thing. Maybe he’s reading too much into this, but something has him grabbing a toy from the bedside drawer and stepping into the harness, tightening it around his hips and settling it so the pleather base rests directly over his packer. It’s a bit strange to still be wearing pants under the strap, but he takes a photo similar to the last before sending it to Eddie. 

As he removes it again, he waits for a response, a little afraid that he’s crossed a line he can’t come back from. He’s just about to put it back in his drawer when Eddie texts him back, a simple and succinct, “Bring it with you?”

Chimney feels the heat on his cheeks as he turns away from the night stand to slip it into his backpack instead, alongside a water bottle and his wallet. It’s alright to hope, then, he thinks, half tripping over his feet on his way to the car. The sooner he gets to Eddie, the sooner they do a photoshoot, and then whatever comes next. He takes a deep breath to calm down before he gets behind the wheel.

In the half hour it takes to get up to Eddie’s studio, he manages to lessen the flush on his face and calm himself down enough to get in the right headspace for a shoot. It’s not about what he wants, it’s about what the camera sees. What Eddie sees. Eddie’s door is open again, and he has a soft grey-green backdrop set up. Hanging over the love seat is a whit denim jacket, the perfect compliment to Chimney’s dark wash jeans. 

Eddie smiles at him, that soft and beautiful one that makes his heart flutter, and lowers his camera to let it hang by the strap around his neck. “Hey, thanks again for coming. I really appreciate it.”

“Of course.”

He picks up the jacket, notes that it’s a little big for him, but that will probably work well with how tight his jeans are. Before he can shrug it on, Eddie clears his throat to get his attention.

“Would it be okay if you took off your shirt? I was hoping for the bare chest look. If you’re not comfortable with that, I get it. We’ll figure something else out.” Eddie taps his fingers against his lips. “I might have a tee shirt in the costuming area that would fit you and match the set, I can look. Give me a second to go check-”

“Eddie.”

He looks back at Chimney, biting his cheek a little in a way that makes it indent. 

“It’s okay. I’m okay with a topless shoot, I’ve done it before. Remember the one where we met?”

On the underwear shoot where they met, he had been down to just the sleek boxers. They all were. He strips off his tee shirt and enjoys the way Eddie admires him. It’s nice to be looked at. Appreciated. Eddie’s hand twitches at his side like he wants to touch him, and Chimney resists the urge to ask because they still need to do this shoot before they get distracted.

He folds his tee shirt up nice and neat, leaving it on the desk before slipping on the jacket. It’s a look, for sure. But he trusts Eddie will make him look beautiful, so it’s alright if he isn’t sure about the outfit’s coherency. He gets posed in front of the backdrop, the sun shining into his eyes, and allows Eddie’s camera to become the only living thing in the room. 

Like always, it’s easy to fall into a rhythm with Eddie. All he has to do is breathe, and the rest comes naturally. If anything needs adjusting, a slight angle of his face or the weight on his back leg, Eddie nudges him gently with careful hands and continues on. He knows he looks good, and the photos will look better. The light wears on outside as Eddie photographs him, occasionally pausing to smile at him before he carries on.

At the end, he patiently waits for Eddie to put away his equipment while trying not to feel too excited. Just because there was a moment over text doesn’t mean he should expect anything. He tries to rein himself in. But the moment Eddie has everything packed up, he’s close enough that they share the same air, curling his fingers in the belt loops of Chimney’s jeans to hold him close. He tilts his head down a little. And Chimney doesn’t need to think to know that Eddie wants to kiss him.

Chimney doesn’t hesitate to give in. He more than enjoys kissing him. Eddie is a good kisser, and when he splays his palms flat against Chimney’s back to bring him closer, there’s safety in it. It feels like being held. He gets a tight grip on Eddie’s tee shirt and holds him close in return, happy to love him and be loved. Is this love? It’s hard to know. But he wants it to be, because Eddie is tender with him and makes him feel worthy of it. 

“Did you bring it?” Eddie murmurs against his lips.

He nods. 

They’re doing this. He’s going to fuck Eddie, a thought that makes him giddy as much as it makes him nervous when he breaks away from Eddie to get it, shedding his jacket in the process. After a moment’s consideration, he struggles through wiggling out of his jeans as well. Their slim fit shows now more than when he pulled them on. As he’s struggling with them, Eddie’s footsteps are soft behind him, followed by tentative fingers against his waist from behind. 

“Can I help?”

He nods and takes a deep breath, letting Eddie pop the button of his jeans and undo the zip. In Chimney’s eagerness, he didn’t even think about that. But Eddie did, and eases the fabric down his legs before helping him step out of him. Better. The air in the room is a little chilly, making goosebumps rise, but that won’t be a problem for long. He manages to get his legs through the harness and pulls it up his hips, settling it perfectly in place. 

When he turns back to Eddie, he finds him shirtless. He doesn’t know what he expected, but the amount of toned muscle wasn’t it. Chimney wants to get his hands on him, feel the ridges of his chest and the scattered dark hair, but before he gets the chance, Eddie has dropped to his knees and curled those lovely hands around his thighs to hold him in place. 

“Can I?” he asks.

“Please.”

He presses a kiss to the tip of the strap before taking it in his mouth, hollowing his cheeks like it’s something he’s done a million times. Maybe he has. What gets Chimney though, is that Eddie isn’t doing this out of some obligation to make sure that he’s hard enough. They both know that there’s no nerve endings in the silicon. But he’s doing it because it’s something that everyone else would do, and he looks beautiful like this. Looking up through his lashes, eyes bright and letting himself get a little sloppy. It’s about the way he looks, giving so much attention just because he wants Chimney to feel appreciated. He rests his hand against the side of Eddie’s face, allowing his thumb to press in a little on his cheek in a way that lets him feel the solid weight of the strap through it. It’s hard to tell if he wants to cry, fuck Eddie’s mouth, or put a hand down his boxers and get off to the sight. He does none of those things. Instead, he nudges at Eddie’s shoulder until he backs off. 

“Do you have lube?” he asks. 

“Yeah, let me get it real quick.”

He wanders out of the room, to one of the other offices on the floor presumably, leaving Chimney to wait there and catch his breath. His dick is still wet with Eddie’s saliva, and he can’t resist curling his hand around it just to feel the slickness of it, imagine again what it might have felt like.

Eddie returns without his pants, down to soft red briefs that Chimney is itching to take off him. He waits, though, and when Eddie throws himself onto the love seat and his lips twitch up, Chimney comes to join him. He settles between his legs and kisses him again like he’s starving for it. He is. He needs this, and there’s something that aches when he puts a hand on the inside of Eddie’s thigh and Eddie spreads his legs for him without a second thought. 

He shakes his head a little. “Your underwear, first.”

It’s easy to smile with him. This isn’t just the sex, it’s the connection between them and the way Eddie kicks off his boxers and reaches up to pull Chimney in for more kisses. He’s more than happy to give them. But he takes the distraction as an opportunity to pick up the lube and pour some onto his fingers. It’s been a bit since he’s done this, but the motions are as familiar as riding a bike.

“You’re perfect,” Eddie sighs, breaking the kiss to let his head fall back. He shifts to get more comfortable, winding up with one leg curled around Chimney’s hip and the other off the edge of the couch, foot flat on the floor. This would be more comfortable in a bed, but this studio is where everything has always happened, and it would feel strange to have this first anywhere else. “You’re so beautiful. Perfect.” 

He winds up hiding his face in Eddie’s neck to avoid the visible blush, and takes that as an excuse to leave marks down his throat again. That’s easy, familiar, and lights his body on fire in ways that he can’t begin to express. Slowly, he works Eddie over with his fingers, prepping him for more and seeking out ways to make him moan and his thighs twitch like he’s struggling to stay still. Chimney sets his free hand on the leg pressed up against the back of the couch, holding him in place and enjoying every inch of skin he’s allowed to touch. 

After a few minutes, Eddie insists he’s ready, hooking his leg over Chimney’s hip and arching his back a little. He’s the beautiful one, Chimney thinks. He kisses him again as he slicks his strap up properly, and steals away the soft moan when he actually pushes inside Eddie, little by little until their hips are flush and Eddie’s hand is just this side of too tight in Chimney’s hair.

He waits for the cue to move. He can’t feel his way through this, but he’s gotten good at reading people, and separately, reading Eddie. As the seconds tick by, Eddie relaxes and his breathing evens out, and he nods with his eyes squeezed shut and a bead of sweat on his brow. 

It’s the most natural, the easiest thing to rock into him in a loose rhythm. They’re not chasing anything except for maybe each other. Being slow is alright, more than welcome. He can take his time, learn the way Eddie responds to a certain angle pressing inside of him, watch his cock weep against his stomach. Chimney gets a hand on it rather quickly, slowly jerking Eddie off in time with his thrusts. His moans are as pretty as the rest of him.

When Chimney pushes in particularly hard, it provides the right amount of teasing pressure for himself. It sets him on edge, has him speeding up, which only seems to make it better for Eddie, whose heel is now digging into the small of Chimney’s back to urge him deeper. He doesn’t even consider denying him a single thing. He does as Eddie’s body language begs, basks in the evidence of his pleasure, and works hard to keep it at a crescendo until Eddie goes quieter and scratches down Chimney’s back when it all becomes too much. It’s hard to decide where to look; at Eddie’s face or at his dick as he comes, and Chimney winds up looking back and forth trying to soak up the vision of both before it’s over and he’s slowly pulling out so he doesn’t overstimulate him too much. 

Eddie pulls him in for another kiss that lasts for hours before pulling back and offering another of his beautiful smiles. “How can I make you feel good too?”

Usually, people don’t ask that once they’ve gotten off, but now Eddie has- twice- and it’s a habit that Chimney could get used to. He sits up more and straddles Eddie’s lower body, getting his balance on the thin space of the couch before reaching down to touch himself. 

“Can you…” He gestures toward the strap, still wet with lube. 

Without missing a beat, Eddie curls his hand around it and lazily strokes it, taking time to twist his wrist a bit on the upstroke and rub his thumb against the head. It makes Chimney consider if this is how Eddie touches himself, alone in the dark. He’d like to know that, one day. But not right now, as he matches the pace of his own fingers to the way Eddie touches the strap. Just like with the blow job earlier, he can’t look away. Eddie’s hands are something he’s grown faintly familiar with, watching them clutch his camera and flick through settings and shutter speeds to capture things just the right way. That single minded focus is now for him, and Chimney barely knows what to do with it. 

He struggles to keep his eyes open, keep watching Eddie, but it’s hard as he gets closer and closer. Normally it takes much more time than this, but there was something unique winding him up about fucking Eddie on the studio love seat, about watching Eddie jerk him off as he touches himself. It’s everything he’s ever wanted or needed. Chimney doubles over to reach Eddie’s lips and kiss him again as he falls over the edge. 

It doesn’t last as long as when Eddie touched him, took his time getting him to that point, but it’s still good and leaves him trembling a little when he opens his eyes and pulls his hand out of his underwear. He wipes it on his thigh lazily so he can use both hands to hold Eddie’s face and settle back into a lazy makeout like the first time they did a shoot in this studio. 


	4. All That I Ever Was

The next time Eddie has him in for a shoot, it’s only been a few days. This one was planned ahead of time rather than spur of the moment, meaning Chimney knows exactly what he’s walking into. It’s about purification, emerging through the water, and a million other words written up in the description Eddie provided. Already he’s had a dozen models do this sort of thing, and there’s more to come after him, but he feels special walking into it because that’s how Eddie always makes him feel and look.

It had been a strict wardrobe call, one to match the other shoots. Eddie sent out photos of the others for him to compare, all of them stunning as always. Thin material tee shirt, white. Straight leg jeans, light wash. No shoes. He wears some just to get to the studio, though, because he’s not going to just drive and walk around barefoot. Already he can imagine how easy it’ll be to get cold, and how that will affect the shoot too. In the other photos, the models have goose bumps, and depending on the model, other things are visible too. Chimney doesn’t mind, he just wants to look good. He wants to be as stunning as Eddie says he is.

Everything feels a little warmer after what they did last time. It was more than just sex, it was what love is supposed to be. He almost expects that they’ll be fooling around again today, especially with the way this shoot will make his shirt cling to him. If hadn’t read the abstract of the project, he might have considered it more on the side of erotic photography than artistic. Not that something can’t be both. 

He’s on cloud nine before he gets there, imagining an afternoon with Eddie and everything that will come in the aftermath of spending time with him. Every shoot they’ve done has been peaceful and instinctive, with incredible results that Chimney’s never seen from another photographer. He trusts that he’ll look good in the final product. He also trusts that Eddie will hold him when they kiss and smile at him so sweet that Chimney can practically taste it every time. Being with Eddie is intimate no matter what they’re doing. The ease with which they dance around each other in the studio is something that can never be replicated or found again. 

As is now the norm, the studio door is propped open, but the setup is different. The lights are on, right beside the reflectors, aimed toward the large windows. The city is his backdrop today. It’s the only non-uniform one in the album so far, further pushing the idea that Chimney could be special. As he toes his shoes off by the door, his eyes land on the gallon jugs of crystal clear distilled water. There’s no tarp on the floor, but a pile of fluffy towels on the love seat means it won’t stay damp in here forever, and neither will Chimney.

“Hey, sweetheart,” Eddie says casually. He’s on the floor, screwing a lens onto his camera and acting as though the pet name is nothing new or different. “Realized I had the wrong lens on, I was a little distracted.”

Chimney nods and waits patiently for Eddie to finish setting up his camera. He doesn’t know how to respond to the endearment, so he stays quiet, enjoying the warmth and familiarity of this studio. It’s been a place of love and intimacy for him, rather than just an office. He feels safe here, he realizes suddenly, as he stands in the area the lights are all aimed at and leans back against the cool glass. He doesn’t feel afraid of it cracking, or the height beneath him. Instead, he’s just happy to be here with Eddie. 

“We’ll do a couple dry pictures first,” Eddie explains, lifting his camera to his face to look through the sight. “Then we’ll start with the water. Sound good?”

“Sounds perfect.”

He stays leaning against the windows while Eddie takes a handful of photos. It’s nothing too much, only takes a few minutes to establish the “before” of the shoot. Then the water. Eddie picks up the first gallon jug and unscrews the lid. He hesitates, though, waiting for Chimney to nod. It’s okay. He knew what the shoot was, and the photos will be good, even perfect. He shuts his eyes, and then the first splash of water hits his head and falls down over him. On his shoulders, his chest. It drips into the waistband of his jeans. He shivers a little and makes to push his wet hair out of his face before he remembers this is a shoot. So he waits for Eddie to take some pictures before he brushes his hair away.

It’s clear why he’s wearing the thin white tee shirt- the shirt is now basically see-through wherever it’s gotten wet, clinging to his body as well. There’s a cut path from his shoulder to his hip, jagged and moving down across his chest in a way that sticks to the valleys between his muscles. In his poses, he decides to make a show of it. He lets his fingers skim the divots of his own chest. It feels weird. Wrong. Like he’s not supposed to be doing it, but Eddie’s still photographing him and there’s this look in his eyes like when they kiss.

“How’s it look?” he asks. 

Eddie swallows and meets his eyes over the camera. “You’re the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.”

Like with the pet name, Chimney doesn’t know how to respond to that, so he chooses not to say anything at all. Instead, they carry on with the shoot for a while before Eddie asks if they can add some more water. Of course he agrees, and when Eddie empties the rest of the jug over him, he gets it. He gets the message of cleansing, gets the refreshment of cool, clear water soaking him through. Little rivulets keep dripping down his cheeks and arms, every part of him damp. He’s cold but it’s a good cold, the sort accompanied by warmth in his chest. As the photoshoot wears on, he resists the urge to stop everything and kiss Eddie. 

By the time it’s over, he’s covered in goosebumps and all too eager to strip out of his wet clothes. He has a change in his bag for later- they’ll probably fool around. Eddie brings over the towels as Chimney finishes leaving his clothes in a pile on the floor. Once he has a fluffy towel around his waist, he finds his little grocery bag to hold onto all of them and keep them from soaking the rest of his things or the studio.

It’s vulnerable in a way he isn’t used to. 

Sure he’s covered by the towel, a second one beneath his bare feet, but he’s not wearing any boxers or anything that could protect him from his own body. It’s just the soft cloth against his skin, and Eddie’s eyes on him. Chimney reaches for him, and just like that, Eddie is on him. His warm hands hold Chimney’s waist, keeping him close, as he kisses his neck and presses his own body in tight. 

Chimney sets his own hands on Eddie’s ass, pulling him closer. He’s never done that before, not even really when he was fucking him, and he internally laments that loss because Eddie has a great ass. He should have done this sooner. But it’s okay because he’s doing it now, and Eddie makes this soft moan at the contact and clings to him. 

“Can I touch you?” Eddie whispers against his neck. “It’s okay if not.”

“I’ll stop you if I need to.”

Then, Eddie’s touch explores his chest as though it’s the first time he’s had the chance. It’s surprisingly gentle, especially when his calloused thumb circles one of Chimney’s nipples and he can’t suppress a shiver. They’re not as sensitive as they had been before surgery, but there’s enough sensation left that it sends a mild shock to his brain. No one ever thinks to touch his chest. They avoid it, even if he says it’s okay. Eddie glances at him, to make sure he’s still enjoying himself and not uncomfortable, but he still carries on as he would with anyone. He familiarizes himself with every inch of Chimney’s back and chest before his hands dance along the edge of the towel, and he stops. 

“Can I?”

Such a question is too straightforward for all the ways it could be meant. He could be asking to take the towel off, he could be asking to touch, he could be asking for both, he could be so many things that it takes a moment to process the question. Chimney knows that no matter what he says, Eddie will respect him. He’s proven that already. Whatever the answer, it won’t equate to getting hurt. He’s unsure, but he’s safe here. It’ll be alright if he changes his mind. So he breathes in, breathes out, and undoes the tuck of the brightly colored towel at his waist.

It feels strange to be fully naked in front of another person, but safe at the same time. This is a lot of trust he’s putting in Eddie’s hands, but Chimney knows it’s safe there. Eddie kisses him again as he touches, trailing light fingertips against Chimney’s thigh or squeezing his hip reassuringly. He can’t reach much more than that with both of them standing like this, but it’s okay. He doesn’t need to. Chimney backs them both up a little, until his back hits the window yet again and he’s pinned between it and Eddie’s body.

They stay like that for a while, kissing and being close. At some point, Eddie takes off his shirt and Chimney gets to touch him too. His skin is warm and smooth, his muscles well defined despite his seemingly laid back profession. It occurs to Chimney that they don’t know each other all that well on a personal level. They’ve worked together a bunch of times, they have this strange love and intimacy between them, but he doesn’t know much about Eddie’s life and Eddie doesn’t know much about his. They have so much more to learn about each other. Still, Chimney trusts him with everything. 

“Eddie, I want you to…”

“Want me to what?”

He almost can’t say it. But he does want to, he really wants to. He wouldn’t ask Eddie if it’s not what he’s sure he wants. “I want you to touch me.”

“Yeah?”

Chimney kisses him again. “Yeah.”

Eddie seems to remember from last time how to touch; he copies what Chimney showed him the first time, the only difference being the lack of fabric between his hand and Chimney’s body. The heel of his palm presses up nearly against the bottom of Chimney’s stomach, keeping him still without effort as he gets back into the rhythm he had last time. Not too fast at first, mostly just in the area rather than direct touch. Having someone else do this without the protective layer of underwear in between is weird, but it's good. It feels nice. 

“Can I try something?” Eddie asks.

“If you want to finger me, the answer’s no.”

He nods and kisses Chimney again. “Okay. Not that, though, I wanted to touch you like- just tell me if it feels good or not?”

Chimney grab’s Eddie’s forearm, prepared to drag his hand away if he does something he shouldn’t. He trusts him, but a lot of people don’t really respect boundaries. It wouldn’t be the first time he had to shove someone off him, but he doesn’t want that to be the case with Eddie. Prays for it not to end like this. 

Then Eddie, with his thumb and forefinger, strokes him in smooth little movements. To be honest, Chimney hasn’t thought of touching himself this way, and he can’t decide whether or not he likes it. Slowly, he loosens his grip on Eddie’s arm and drops his head back against the window. He lets Eddie keep going for a few minutes, trying to find a way that feels good, but it’s mostly just a vague and teasing sensation. So he asks Eddie to go back to what they’ve done before, and Eddie obliges right away. 

He shuts his eyes and drowns himself in the pleasure. It’s alright to enjoy himself, to trust Eddie and know that he’s safe and in good hands. Chimney threads a hand through Eddie’s hair just to hold him close. It’s hard to spread his legs properly and keep his balance, so he winds up hooking one leg over Eddie’s, which leads to Eddie grinding against his hip slightly and leaving sloppy kisses against Chimney’s jaw. After a minute or so, he pulls his hand back and slips his fingers into his mouth, getting them wet and slick before going back to touching him. The smooth movement feels just that much better and has Chimney rolling his hips up slightly into each touch. 

It takes around twenty minutes for him to finish, but every moment of it is perfect. He exchanges slow kisses with Eddie, clings to him, focuses on the way it feels to be touched. He’s loved. He’s wanted. He’s beautiful, and he shuts his eyes when he comes because if he doesn’t, he might explode from all the emotions he doesn’t know how to cope with.

When it’s over, he doesn’t hesitate to drop to his knees, even as the aftershocks still make him shiver. He wedges one hand between his legs to keep grinding against every so often as he unbuttons Eddie’s jeans with the other. He could probably just jerk him off and Eddie would be happy, but he feels like doing more. Since he can, and Eddie has done so much for him, it’s not a big deal to take Eddie’s cock in his mouth and hollow his cheeks. To be honest, he’s kind of out of practice, but he more than makes up for it with his enthusiasm and letting Eddie set the pace. As excited as he seems to be, Eddie never pushes too far or goes too fast. It’s a give and take, until Eddie asks if he wants to swallow. Chimney says yes, just because the cleanup is easier. He coughs after, needs a drink of water, but it was good and Eddie kisses him a dozen more times while they lay on the towels.

They can hardly keep their hands to themselves, even after they’ve both already come. For hours, they lazily make out and hold each other close. Any soreness the next day from lying on the floor is worth it. 


	5. Those Three Words

Not even a full day after the shoot, Eddie texts Chimney inviting him out for a proper dinner on Friday night. He can’t remember the last time he went on a date. It’s nice to dress up for himself, rather than because there will be cameras, even if this date can hardly be considered that way. He chooses too, though. That’s the right he has.

He can’t put his finger on why it’s so frightening to go on a date with Eddie, after everything they’ve done. Eddie has touched him in ways no one besides Chimney has in years, never hesitating to make him feel wanted and loved, and somehow, the prospect of sitting in a restaurant with him for an hour has him struggling to keep his breath even and his heart calm. At this point, he obviously trusts Eddie; he’s not afraid something bad will happen to him. He’s just afraid that it’ll be the make/break moment of the thing they’ve been working toward since the very beginning.

That night, he meets Eddie at a sushi place, one of the thousands in LA. It’s a nice one, rather than one of those hole-in-the-wall joints, with white tablecloths and an offering of sake to whet their appetites. The candle on the table flickers low, flashing through the thin color of the sake and illuminating Eddie’s face in unpredictable bursts. He looks soft this way. Just his pretty eyes and his soft lips and the smile that Chimney has been gone for since day one. This is a new beginning, he realizes. Eddie wants them to be more, wants to love him in a more complete way than sex in the studio and going their separate ways after. This could be the start of waking up in the same bed and two toothbrushes in the bathroom. 

“It was pretty fun actually,” he says, poking at the edamame appetizer in front of him. They’ve sunk into a conversation about how they got into this career, because it often happens to those who go looking, even if that’s not their cases. “I was just trying to pick up spare cash, and let me tell you, watching a tired freshman cry because he can’t get your nose right is way funnier than it has any right to be.”

When Eddie laughs, his eyes light up like the stars. “Yeah, I’ll bet. Yet another reason I could never do painting.”

“It certainly was a cool way to make ends meet. I never thought it would take out like this, but.” He shrugs. “That’s life, I guess. How about you?”

Before he answers, Eddie takes a sip of the rice wine and takes a moment to gather his thoughts. He hasn’t spoken much about who he is outside the studio, either currently or before he became the renowned photographer he is. Chimney kind of regrets not learning these things sooner, but he can do it now. 

“I took photography up after my last tour. Mostly so I’d have pictures of my kid, when he’s with his mom. But it kinda took off.”

“You have a son?”

Eddie ducks his head and looks away. “Uh. Yeah, I’m- sorry, I should have-”

“No, no, it’s okay.” Chimney takes his hand atop the table, rubbing a thumb over Eddie’s knuckles. “Tell me about him. What’s he like?”

Visibly relieved, Eddie pulls out his phone and flicks through his camera roll before showing Chimney photos of a little boy with glasses, curly brown hair, and a large smile. Mostly it’s pictures of him playing with legos, although some show him on the swings while a dark haired woman holds child-size crutches in one hand and pushes him with the other. She’s probably his mother. 

“His name’s Christopher. He means the world to me.” Eddie pockets his phone. “You should meet him sometime. Not immediately, but maybe in a month or two.”

With those words is the implication of a future. They have so much more ahead of them, so much left to come, and Chimney is a part of the weeks ahead of Eddie in his life. “I’d like that,” he says softly.

They lull into silence when their order arrives, sharing their orders of Rainbow Rolls and Tempura Rolls. It’s not often Chimney goes out for sushi; he’s never been all that big on it, but Eddie was excited and he has to admit that it’s a lot better when it’s well prepared in a nice restaurant. Maybe that’s his own bias, though, after he got food poisoning from a place by his old apartment. Good food and good company make it into a nice night, one that Chimney knows will be held close to his heart for a long time, maybe forever.

After their plates are cleared and Chimney’s relaxed, polishing off the rest of his wine, Eddie drops the bomb. 

“I wanted to do a photoshoot about your body.”

Chimney is on his feet before he can fully process the words. Eddie is different, he knows and wants to believe that, but there’s a part of him that’s done this dance too many times to not backtrack and find a way out when it gets too much.

“Is that what this has been about?”

“What?”

He shakes his head. His heart is beating too fast. “This whole time, you were just- this is a fetish thing, isn’t it? You just wanted-” Chimney feels like he can’t breathe. “All you wanted from me was what’s in my pants, and now that I trust you, you-”

“Hey, hey, wait.” Eddie stands up and takes his hands. He holds them like they’re the most delicate things in the world, so that if Chimney wanted to he could pull away and run far and fast. “That’s not true. I do- I do enjoy being intimate with you, but that’s not just because of that. Not that it’s a problem, either, I just…” He seems to be struggling to put his words together. “You’re beautiful. And I wanted to do the series because I want other people to see that. But if you’re not comfortable with it, or you don’t want to, that doesn’t change anything for me. I lo- I really like you. And I’m sorry that I made you feel like I’m just using you.”

It would be easy to believe him, but Chimney’s been burned in the past and he’s still letting go of the adrenaline spike. He relaxes a little, though, and rests his head against Eddie’s chest and allows himself to be held for a moment. When he finally lets go, Eddie offers him a little smile and lifts one hand to his face to kiss.

“I’ve got the tab. You don’t have to stay.”

“Are you sure?”

Eddie nods. “I’m sure. Just- text me, okay? When you’re ready to talk.”

-

It takes a few days for Chimney to feel ready to talk. He’s mostly convinced by now Eddie didn’t mean to overstep, and it’s left him more than a little guilty for freaking out on him like that. He uses the time to get his head right, as well as evaluate what he wants out of this, which is more than just sex; it seemed like Eddie wanted that too. It’s an inevitable conversation. He knows what he’s getting into when he sends his address and invites Eddie over, content in the fact that he’s safe.

He gets a nice bottle of wine and pours two glasses in the minutes before Eddie is supposed to arrive. They didn’t finish their dinner date, so this is a peace offering, to clear the air. Chimney feels weird sitting alone on his couch, two glasses sitting in front of him, for the last couple minutes spent waiting for Eddie to knock on his front door. For a moment, he worries Eddie won’t show up at all.

But of course he does, wearing a worn-in looking army green button down and holding a bouquet of flowers. It’s a really nice one; not a dozen roses, or a plain bouquet of the same flower at all, but a lovely arrangement with greenery and different colored blossoms. Chimney can’t remember anyone giving him flowers before. He busies himself finding a pitcher to put them in.

“Help yourself to the wine.”

He carefully transfers the flowers into the water, taking a moment too long to arrange them before he joins Eddie on the couch and picks up his glass. He’s not much of a drinker, but it felt right for the occasion of deciding their future together. They each take a couple small sips before Chimney puts his down and wills himself to open up.

“I’m sorry I got upset with you,” he starts, because it’s what’s right. “I’ve- Eddie, there are people in my past who were too much. And that’s why I was- I was afraid. You’ve never given me a reason to think you would hurt me, and I shouldn’t have acted like you did.”

Eddie sets his drink down as well, freeing up both of his hands to hold Chimney’s. “It’s okay, I get it. I’m not upset.”

“Thank you. And I guess part of why it was so upsetting was that I… I want to have a future with you. I want to go on dates, and see where it goes, and be part of your life.”

“There’s nothing I want more.”

When Eddie leans in to kiss him, even if there’s still plenty more left to discuss, Chimney can’t help kissing him. His hands fall easily on Eddie’s biceps, holding them to steady himself, a last anchor as he gives into the feeling of being loved and wanted in such a complete way. Finally, he can admit that. This is love. It has been from the moment they locked eyes over the sight of Eddie’s camera, and they have the chance to build it up into something stronger.

Before long, as they get closer and closer until Eddie’s almost in his lap, Chimney decides they should just go to the bedroom. It’s the first time they’ve done this outside the studio, which makes it that much more special as Eddie keeps stopping along the way to kiss him again. This is what being wanted feels like. It’s not about what his body looks like, or what it doesn’t, it’s about Eddie’s hands on his waist and his little smile when they bump into the doorframe on their way to the bed. 

It’s a novelty to lay in the soft sheets together, slowly unbuttoning Eddie’s shirt and shimmying out of jeans until they’re just skin to skin, kissing still but letting themselves relish in the contact they’ve been craving. This isn’t just a byproduct of what they’re on their way to, but an act unto itself to feel everything. Chimney has a hand on one of Eddie’s legs, holding it to the side to get a better angle for them to grind against each other, the other supporting his opposite hip. Eddie is louder here, where they’re not bound by the public space of an office building, even if that was arguably more private than the apartment building. It just feels more intimate. Eddie’s face among the pillows Chimney sleeps on each night, his foot tangled in the sheets, moaning and grabbing the covers when the angle of their bodies is just right. 

“Baby, I wanna-” Eddie cuts himself off on a sharp breath, arching his back before he can continue. “I want to try giving you head. Can I?”

Still, Chimney hesitates. He almost says no. But he can always change his mind, and he’s already laid down his boundaries for Eddie that day in the studio, so he nods and gets up on his knees. Eddie gets his hands on Chimney’s hips right away, guiding him forward as though to insist that yes, yes he wants to do this, looking up at him with such blatant want and affection. Chimney swallows hard. He’s gotten oral a couple of times, but it’s never been that great. People get bored quickly, or they try to insist on something he doesn’t want. Eddie will take care of him, though. He’s allowed to enjoy this. 

Eddie guides him lower, until instead of just kneeling above him, Chimney’s quite literally almost sitting on his face. He worries at first he’s too heavy, but he has to trust Eddie knows his limits as well. And it’s worth it, he realizes immediately, because Eddie’s skill when it comes to kissing translates to this is as well. After less than ten seconds, Chimney finds himself bracing with one hand against the pillows, the other buried in Eddie’s hair. He can’t tear his eyes away, as much as the pleasure makes him want to, because Eddie is watching him with a smile visible in his dark eyes. He’s beautiful. And he’s good at what he does with every flick of his tongue, and the way he hollows his cheeks the same way he did around the strap to provide a sensation that Chimney doesn’t know he’s experienced before. Besides the suction, Eddie’s managed to draw in his cheeks enough for Chimney to be able to feel the inside of his mouth, warm and wet and smooth, all as he makes these perfect little motions with his tongue.

Chimney can’t resist grinding into the sensation at least a little, which Eddie encourages with a little moan. He feels a little weird not reciprocating at the moment, but it’s not like he’s going to leave Eddie hanging. He’s allowed to enjoy this, he reminds himself. There’s nothing wrong with being taken care of like this.

As though Eddie can sense his thoughts wandering, he moves his hands to Chimney’s ass to pull him closer. He also switches up his technique, almost kissing in the way he drags his lips against him, occasionally letting his tongue join in as well. He doesn’t stick to just one thing; he tests different things out, stays longer on one technique when it makes Chimney’s thighs shake or his breath hitch. It’s almost teasing, the way he takes his time with this, but when Chimney starts to get impatient, borderline needy, Eddie goes back to what worked best and looks up at him as he works hard to bring him to the edge. He hums a little too, which is unexpected and almost life-changing. The slight vibration is enough. 

He instinctively pulls Eddie’s hair a little when it becomes too much, too close to coming and Chimney feels like he’s falling out of his body. Eddie keeps up with the humming, too, having noticed the difference it makes, and it might actually be the best thing Chimney’s ever experienced. His toes curl and his back arches. He forgets how to breathe, how to think, as his orgasm washes over him and Eddie happily draws it out until Chimney is oversensitive and starts to pull away.

It takes a moment for him to catch his breath, stretching out beside Eddie to kiss him again and press their bodies together. After another, he remembers that Eddie isn’t finished, and reaches between them to get a hand on him. It’s nothing special, but based on the sounds that Eddie makes, it’s more than enough. Chimney lazily strokes his dick and kisses him, presses closer when Eddie wraps an arm around his waist and buries his face in the crook of Chimney’s neck. 

Within a few minutes, Eddie finishes, coating Chimney’s hand and their upper thighs in come. He’s a little apologetic, but much more concerned with continuing to kiss Chimney while he fumbles around the nightstand for Kleenex.

This is just the beginning of something real.

**Author's Note:**

> tumblr @gaychimney, cis people don't clown


End file.
